So it’s Holy Week, in case you’ve have forgotten. In the midst of all the “red sign” craziness on facebook (and the never-ending “I’m right you’re wrong banter” in the gay marriage debate), I think it’s a good opportunity for us to sit back and remember: oh yeah, I’m supposed to be preparing for Easter.
Yep, Lent–especially this final week–is meant to be a time to prepare our hearts for the unbelievable love of Christ through his Passion, death and Resurrection. The little ones I teach every Sunday know this well: “purple means we prepare for a great feast, white means the great feast has begun!” And yet, for me at least, this week has seemed like anything but a contemplative, reflective preparation of God’s love.
Did I mention we got an offer on our house? After just one day on the market? After only one showing? Craziness. To be honest we had a feeling our house would go quickly (there really isn’t anything on the market in our neighborhood right now), but we had no idea just how quickly. We thought we would put our home on the market a week before Ryan gets home from Argentina, let traffic build up a bit, then maybe we’d entertain offers after a week or two when Ryan and I could sit down and look at the materials together. Instead we’ve accepted the incredibly awesome offer, leaving me, Leo, and sometimes our sweet pup Newman to explore the ever-shrinking housing market down by Ryan’s work.
And it has been humbling.
It’s been funny discovering just how little I really know about myself. I told my realtor before this all began “don’t worry, Ryan and I aren’t picky. It should go fairly quickly.” HA! About 30 houses later we’re still not even close to finding a new home (and are edging closer and closer to homelessness). There have been a few homes we’ve liked, even one we were about to put an offer on only to discover we were too late, another offer on the table. Shoot. And unfortunately this seems to keep happening to us. We’ll like a house, have a discussion about putting an offer down, contact our agent, she gives us the devastating news that someone has already taken the house, and we’re back to square one…again. Sometimes homes I like via internet go on the market before we even step foot in one. Just today I was about to get in the car and head to a home that seemed nice, only to get a phone call via transit that–yep–the home was under contract (not even 24 hours on the market).
This is insanity.
And in the midst of all of it I find myself longing for some consolation, begging God to just drop a home we love in our lap at a price we could afford.
But I’ve also experienced a lot of sorrow, not just for our home search but that I feel like I’m missing out on Holy Week. I’m not genuinely preparing for the GREAT FEAST of Easter. It seems that all of my spare time involves endless online searches, phone calls with my agent, updates for poor Ryan, and trying to keep my house together as well (we’ve been having unfortunate hot water heater issues. Ugh) I was getting frustrated with my lack of spiritual prioritizing when I realized: “I am SO HAPPY this stuff is happening during Holy Week.”
Seriously, what better opportunity is there for me to reflect on the gift of humility than a week when God humbles Himself on a cross? What better time for me to praise God for the opportunity to completely abandon any sense of control I desire for my life and give it all to Him in total trust? I think of Jesus in the garden, about to enter into more suffering than any of us will ever know, and He offers it to His Father: “Not my will but Yours be done!” I can’t think of a time in my life when that beautiful prayer was more applicable: Jesus, take all of this stress, all of this anxiety, fear, reservation, and grant me the grace to simply surrender. I know You will provide, you ALWAYS DO. Let me believe this with my whole heart! 🙂
And so we enter into the Triduum. Through the trials and uncertainty of our family right now, God is simply asking me to trust, lay it all at his feet, just as He did.